Forming attachments start from birth. The reaction of our primary care givers leave a significant impact on us. We hard wire our reactions to emotions based on what attention we had as babies. A strong bond with our primary care giver helps our development during our early years. However, if there are difficulties in this attachment, issues such as self image, difficulties forming and maintaining relationships surface later on in life. For instance, creating dysfunctional relationships, fear of abandonment, controlling behaviours, affect regulation issues and even emotional blackmail. To help heal, one must overcome the emotional vulnerability our attachment style hardwired in us. Part of the healing process, is realising that we are adults, thus we can take control of our emotional reactions and the vulnerable state it leaves us in with the right professional support. Shedding unhelpful beliefs and forming different attachments that suit your mature self, making new connections and managing your emotions better does help the healing process. Attachment styles dictate how relationships are managed effectively and finding yours will explain your behaviours. There is help out there. References: Levine, A., & R. S. F. Heller. 2019 Attached. Bluebird: Main Market edition. Holmes, J., 2014. John Bowlby and Attachment Theory. Routledge, 2nd edition. Wallin, D.J., 2015. Attachment in Psychotherapy Guilford Press
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